2004-03-25 - 2:20 p.m.
hmmm, so its a new day, with thunderstorms. had a terrible day last night, got drunk and said some things, giggled if that's a reason for people to be angry at me. so wanted to cut, but didn't, and i relised that i do it as punishment to myself. to make myself feel as if i have absolved my sins. i'm a weird person. also e-mailed lawrie too much. it doesn't help that i have too much time on my hands, miniutes not hours do acutally do things with. the thunderstorm is giving me a headache, a kind of light as air feeling. i have not e-mailed lawrie any of this, and i'm glad. I don't want him to worry about me. i e-mailed him to say i was thinking of going to japan. he replyed by telling me the numbers, hi and good bye in japanise. to which i replied this morning with 'i'm homesick', but i didn't tell him anything about what happend yesterday which was good. got to cut him out of my life.
