2004-07-03 - 6:04 p.m.
Sometimes I feel like I’m a pin cushion, and every second something sticks its self into me. A song has just come on the radio, yellow. And I’m going to start crying again.
Losing someone is painful if you let it. The idea is of course that if you let it hurt your not denying how you feel, and your dealing with the emotion. Right now I wish I wasn’t human. I wish I could be a stone figurine.
Part of me wonders if I should really let someone in to do this to me again. I wish I smoked, something to take my mind of this –other than food. So far I’ve gone to the gym four times this week, and I’m weighting more not less.
